You Know You Don’t Belong.
No, this is not some line from a 3rd Eye Blind song. Neither has it got something to do with the emotional paranormal that life is.
This line is as simple as it should be. There is no hidden meaning behind this. It is just a simple conclusion, perhaps to my current ongoing uncertainties in life.
Maybe this quote can help sum everything up.
“There comes a point in your life, when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.”
Cliche much? I know. But still makes total sense.
People die, people leave .. people do as people may. Whatever’s convenient for them works wonders. There is no in between.
You can be thankful about it or you could carry on wondering what has happened. A light tap from a friend can bring you face to face with those worried eyes which makes you realize that not all is lost. You still have people surrounding you albeit not everyone sticks around forever.
Those worrisome eyes may one day be replaced with another & the thought that had you stuck in time may be well changed & now could be about someone else. You don’t forget people – they just stay there, moving further & further away to the back of your mind until they’re just a shadow of their past memories with you.
You may smile, reminiscing about the past or could just as well be vacantly looking out at nothing. Our eyes hide nothing, they’re the gateways that let our emotions parade on our face. That, coupled with the many ‘Oh nothing’ replies to when asked what was going through our mind, makes you realize that the memories can make you care about the person more that anything else would.
We all can repeatedly jump around screaming at how much we miss that one person & how we can’t wait to see them, but once we do, there’s always a slight chance that all that time, we weren’t trying to convince the others about how much they mean to us, we were trying to convince ourselves that no matter how far they’ve gone, they’re still here & nothings changed. We change our outlook, we overlap reality with our hopes & in turn produce the most unbelievable piece of art to see.
Our memories make us happy & we promise ourselves more happiness & in turn more memories to feed off of. We over look the fact that there’s always a slight chance that the new memories we oh so look forward to might lead to unrecoverable disasters, forvever distorting your old memories. How’s that possible you say?
People tend to change, its unstoppable. You can never say if its for the best because it once again depends on our own perception. If to say, you left someone clean & sober doesn’t mean that that is how it will be forever more. In a few years time, they might remain the same or they could oddly resemble a drunken hobo. ‘Oddly’ because that is not what you had expected. It could distort your past memories in a way that you didn’t think possible. You’ll go home, reflect on what you saw & then most probably leave it be & try to accept the change.
At the end of the day, if you are ever to look past your hopes & perceptions & realize that if you are the one who walked away, if you’re the one who was once clean & sober then, & if you’re the reason why people don’t see you the way you once were, then you know you don’t belong.
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- March 5, 2010 / 3:20 pm
- What I'm/was thinking