When Will I Find My Way Home ?

Ah wordpress, you’ll always be my first priority when I want to do some actual writing.

I often wondered why people liked being something they are not. Its not that they aren’t aware of what they actually are, but for some reason, they like obscuring their inner identities by changing their physical outlook, but really, all they need to do is change the way they look at the world themselves. But most of all, it is how the person perceives himself that really matters.

Accepting who you are is considered to be both, the easiest & the hardest by people. Easier because you know that at the end of the day, you can only accomplish achieving inner nirvana when you know that you’re the only person who’s opinion truly matters, & that if others are willing to stick with you always, then there’s nothing really hold you back. For some it is harder because their whole lives they’ve subjected themselves to earn the approval of others, the world, strangers, for making a decision. However, its nothing eminent, because like most people, they consider a physical change to make everything better, mostly because its not as complicated but also because people can see the changes  instead of feeling them.

I don’t really understand why acceptance is so hard. Why can’t people just accept who they are at the very least because accepting who you are is the first step in understanding what you are & why you do things that others don’t. Its human nature to judge others, but to judge you need to get into other people’s head’s & think like them. What possible reason could they have to do something different or to conform? Once you think, it becomes relatively easier to understand a person’s motives. You may not be able to help them, but atleast now their will be one less person judging them, because how we react to people shows exactly what we think about them, & that either causes some people to try change themselves, or either they just don’t care & not caring is good.

The more you care about what other people think, the more you fall lower into a pitiful & abysmal hole in the earth that closes bit by bit the more you try to climb out of it because you can’t stop caring. Its not always that people have a low self esteem, on the contrary, they think too much about themselves. Or some people think so little, that they become a bit more pessimistic everytime someone comments about something related to them. & honestly, you just don’t know why. Its not just one group of people we’re talking about here, its millions. all different people, most of them who never take a step back & question what they’re really doing. the more you try to help these people, the more aggravated they become because they just can’t handle it anymore.

What I do know is that, it took me a while to figure this out, to figure myself out. Nirvana isn’t unachievable, but it requires patience. & hell lot of acceptance. I still have the same haircut I’ve had for over a year because I don’t want to change it because I don’t dislike it just yet even though everyone tells me they’re sick of it. I don’t want to buy a cellphone because I just don’t want to even though everyone has one. I don’t want to fit in because I don’t see why fitting in is such a big deal to everyone. I like being who I am. Even though I still haven’t figured out the whole of me. But what I have seen makes me want to keep doing what I love to because the others don’t know what they’re missing out on like I do.

& I want others to do the same because they don’t see who they are & neither does anyone else.


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