Well so I’ve been pretty irregular here & I feel kinda bad because I promised that I’d always write here so here goes.
Um so I’d been planning on writing here about Ramadan since it started, & now Eid’s only 2 days away. Well there’s nothing exactly that needs to be written about – basically I was in a really bad bit of social turmoil the last time I blogged [yeah I password protected THAT post] but now I’m a lot better – I think; that was probably a bad case of PMS or something.
Anyhow so I kinda got accepted at this university & I’m really syked about that because it’s what I wanted for AGES – I’m so close to reaching my goal & I honestly find that hard to believe because I’m pretty sure there’s a catch to all of this, I mean I can’t actually breeze through this – this is NOT how it works.
The other thing that makes me feel really weird is that apart from a couple of friends, no one’s actually going into university this year & it makes me feel like I’m kinda stupid for hurrying up with everything & not taking a break & stuff.
When I actually look back at my life, starting from October 2010, so much’s changed. I had this whole other life the last 10 months & I loved it – being sent to the principal’s office, getting warning letters, studying at the last minute, skipping classes, planning on bunking school & meeting somewhere, faking a stomach ache to get home early with your bestfriend, staying up all night & sleeping just minutes before the alarm rings, making brownies for your friends at school & forgetting to bring plates, sleeping during a Physics class – when I think of it, it all passed by so fast. I want everything to come back again – it was one of the best years of my life & right now, I feel like I’m in a really bad dream.
Outside school it was hanging out at the compound, asking one of your guy friends to get you a whole bunch of spraypaints so that we can write obscenities on walls even though we knew we could get caught & then getting lost in the compound & coming home, hoping your family isn’t awake when you get back.
& then falling in & out of love even if it brought me happiness for a little while only. It was a mistake, but yeah I learned a lot so I don’t regret anything.
All of this made my year so amazing, I wouldn’t wanna change anything.
This all seems like such a dream.
I left it to all to pursue another & even though I know it was inevitable, I just wish I didn’t have to let go. I know I can’t have the best of both worlds but right now, I really wish I could.